After teaching yoga to marginalized youth for 6 months now, I am still a little shocked by the first class jitters as I start a new session. This session, at a local alternative school, gave me the chance to find some strength I forgot I had.A week before the class started, me and one of the teachers decided to hold an info session where the students could come in, sign up, and ask questions about the class. I was quite nervous. What if nobody came? What if only 2 students came to the class? As much as yoga isn’t about me, a part of my ego still takes it personally when only a few kids show up. “Oh, I am lame” an old voice in my head professes.

I was caught off guard when 12 students showed up, four of them boys! I was so happy to see these high school students interested in yoga and willing to sign up for a 5 week session.

When it came time to teach my first class today, I found myself getting nervous again. That old voice was popping up, this time with a different message. “What if they don’t like your class? What have you got to show them that’s so special?” Thankfully, my training at the ashram (and my good friends) have prepared me for moments like these. Instead of cowering in fear, I do a practice to lighten me and then I start writing down all of the small victories that I have achieved.
Being able to sit still for 10 mins in the morning.
Remembering to call my parents.
Sharing the benefits of yoga.

In very little time, these small victories began to build and build. Soon enough I was feeling confident to teach from what I know. I don’t have to pretend to be anyone else. “Michael, simply teach from your own experience. Here, your little victories are a great example.” Ahhh….this voice was different. This was a voice of my inner friend.

In today’s class we did the mountain. Looking around the class I saw some boys who were involved in hockey and thai kick boxing, and girls who dressed for high school with the same care attention one would see at a dance club. However, I looked a little deeper. They all human, complex just like me in my strength and insecurities, my victories and frailties.

As we set out on this yoga journey together I asked the students to notice where they are, how they stand, and to see where they would like to go. More importantly, we all stood tall, breathed deeply, and took a minute to recognize one small victory for ourselves.

The students sat down, picked up their pens, and wrote about this victory. We didn’t share them this week….these gems were just for them.

- Michael McCarthy -