Reflecting on her first class at a shelter for families, Amanda realizes that setting rules and boundaries might actually be what these students need.

I had my first class today teaching at a family shelter – for women and children fleeing abuse.  My first impression was that it was kind of like a youth hostel; with dimly lit staircases, small rooms with bunk beds, shared kitchens and communal bathrooms.  However, one small difference:  I was bombarded with children that seemed to be totally out of control, laughing and screaming and running and literally climbing up the walls. . . it was loud and chaotic! And then the program coordinator told me that these were Michael’s yoga kids! Oh my gosh – I had no idea what Michael had meant when he said that they were a challenging group. I felt a renewed respect for Michael and a wave of relief, grateful that I wasn’t teaching these little monkeys today! Michael has been offering a class to the children here for several weeks, and I was here today to begin a yoga class with the teenagers. Standing up taller and deciding that I was going to have to ‘lay down
the law’ first and foremost with this group in an environment like this, I invoked an aura of light and compassion around me and waited for the teens.  Eight teenagers with one toddler in tow arrived with a mixture of curiosity, stand-offishness, shyness and nervous aggressive behaviour.  I was feeling really confident, present and grounded.  I felt like an experienced teacher. (wow – I guess I am!)  

After introductions I told them that I was only there for an hour, and in order for this to work every week I needed something from them. I spoke with passion.  I said, “We need RESPECT in three areas:  RESPECT for yourselves and your bodies.  RESPECT for each other – verbally and physically  - including zero physical contact with each other – no pushing, ho hitting, not even hugging in the yoga space. And RESPECT for the space – including silence when I ask for it.” I had their full attention.  We had a fantastic class. Space for games and laughter as well as focused concentration, breathing and ten whole minutes of silence at the end. Only once did I have to say, “that language is not acceptable here”.  How did I become such a discipline buff?! Bringing ‘discipline’ into yoga classes was one of my biggest challenges entering this line of work four years ago, and I’ve tried alot of approaches.  I am realizing how important clear boundaries and expectations are – particularly for this group of teens who’s parent(s) have been assumably inconsistent and abusive.  Having clear rules and structure in this time of ‘transition’ as they wait for safe permanent housing is likely a relief. I like balancing this structure with an open forum and open communication, but ground rules are ground rules. They are vital for creating a safe space, a mutual agreement and an equal opportunity for everyone to have their own special experience in a shared space. I’m confident that the example shown and the  tools learned in yoga are influencing their days as they all live together under one roof, forming an extended family of sorts – struggling to be included and to be themselves in these informative adolescent years.

Om Namaste
Amanda